


Navigating the Dark

by Abi623



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abi623/pseuds/Abi623
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt 14: Blind Peeta. [submitted by Annonymous]<br/>Rated: Teen (Part 1) and Mature/Explicit (Part 2)<br/>Written for the everlarkficexchange</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Part One  
Peeta

At first, I don’t realize that I’m awake. I thought I had opened my eyes, but all I can see is darkness. I can hear muffled voices somewhere to my right and I turn my head slightly to hear them better.

“...if he’ll ever be able to see again.” The first voice was saying, it’s high and nasally, yet still masculine. Unfamiliar. 

“Poor kid.” The second voice grunted. Haymitch’s low pitch was easy to pick out, even through all the haze. “Of all the rotten luck. First his leg and now his sight...”

I try to wrap my head around the situation. Were they talking about me? I start moving my eyelids up and down. I see a difference in the shade of darkness, but nothing else changes as I repeatedly blink. I see no shapes, no colors, nothing. I think there must be something over my eyes. I push away the thought that there’s no pressure on my eyes- despite the pounding inside my head. I cling to the slim hope that I’m just blindfolded and not actually… I don’t even want to think about.

Slowly, I reach a hand up to my face and choke back a sob when I meet nothing but the skin of my eyelids. I’m blind. I can’t see. My world will forever be shrouded in darkness. My mind supplies poor substitutes of things I’ll never see or do again. Baking. My paintings. My family. A sunset. Katniss. My nasal passages burns and something slides down my cheek. I crying, I realize. 

“Hey,” A voice says next to me and I jump at the sudden nearness. “Take it easy, kid.” Haymitch. 

“Haymitch?” I ask even though I know his voice. Without my vision, I’m second guessing everything. “What’s going on? What happened?”

A pause. There’s really nothing he can say that will shock me. I already lost my eyesight. I hear him take a deep breath before speaking in a low, cautious tone. “What do you remember?”

Good question. What do I remember? Heat. A green jungle. Running. Meeting Katniss’ eyes across the lightning tree just after she shot an arrow at something. Then… nothing. Are we in the Capitol? Am I the Victor? Did everyone else die? I remember killing Brutus. How has everyone else died? A new pain blossoms in my chest. Did I fail Katniss?

“I…” I start, swallow the lump in my throat. But all I can bring myself to say is, “Katniss?”

Haymitch sighs. “Alive. We’re in District Thirteen.” He takes a shallow breath and continues. “Just tell me what you remember.”

I sigh a breath of relief. Katniss is alive. “I remember killing Brutus and running back to the lightning tree. Katniss was there and she shot an arrow at something. That’s all I can remember.”

I hear shuffling and a scratching noise and it frustrates me that I can’t see what he’s doing. “There was an explosion. You hit your head pretty hard. Do you remember waking up in the hovercraft on the way here?”

I shake my head. I don’t remember anything after Katniss and the arrow. Haymitch continues, “What about the doctor giving you an exam?” Again, I shake my head.

“I don’t remember anything after Katniss.” I repeat out loud. “Haymitch… I… I’m-”

“I know, kid.” He interrupts. “The doc said you hit the part of your head that deals with sight or something like that. He mentioned there might be a way to reverse the damage, but they don’t have the facilities to do it here. But they have them in the Capitol.”

“So it’s permanent.” I say, stating a fact rather than asking the question. There’s no reason to hope that I’ll ever see again.

“Maybe.” Is all Haymitch says before a nurse comes in and shoos him away. The nurse urges me to rest after telling me she put something in my IV to help with the pain. It’s funny really. I’ve been so distracted by my new predicament that I almost didn’t notice the excruciating pain radiating from the back of my skull. Almost.

I tense when I feel her next to me. But I do as she's asks and settle myself back against the pillows. Before I drift off I hear her say, “You’re safe now. We’re in District Thirteen.”

~~~

I awake violently. My eyes spring open, but I’m still in the dark. I feel arms around my neck and I stiffen. Am I under attack? No, it feels more like a hug. Who’s hugging me? Why are they hugging me? I screw my eyes shut as I just wait. The person, who is practically in my lap, pulls back slightly. I feel my breathing become labored. Something lands on my cheek. It’s warm and gentle, slightly familiar.

“Peeta?” Her voice whispers and I feel myself relax against her.

“Katniss?” I ask hesitantly. I hate not being able to confirm things with my eyes. Was that really her voice? I keep my eyes closed. I don’t want her to know about my eyes. I want to save her from any pain, even my own.

“I’m here, Peeta. It’s me.” She says, grazing her thumb along my cheek. Hearing her confirm it takes away all my doubt, and I wrap my arms around her, crushing her to me. 

“Oh, thank God.” I breath. I want nothing more than to see her face, but I settle for burying my head in the crook of her neck. There’s a sterile scent to her and beneath that, the earthy scent of Katniss. It’s really her.

In the warmth of our embrace I ask her, “What’s going on? No one will tell me anything. They just keep saying that I’m safe and we’re in District Thirteen. Is that true?”

She tells me everything she knows. Which includes the destruction of the arena, the Capitol’s revenge against our home and finally the death of my family. It takes me by surprise. I really didn’t think my life could get much worse, but apparently the Capitol loves to prove me wrong. After hearing the news of my family’s deaths, I suddenly think of Katniss’ mom and sister.

I’ve opened my eyes because it feels weird to keep them closed, even if I can’t see. But I make sure to keep them pointed away from her. I don’t know if she would be able to tell just by looking, but I don’t want to take the chance.

“What about your mom and Prim?” I ask, fearing that she has to mourn the person she loves most in the world.

She hesitates just slightly before saying, “They made it. They’re here somewhere, I think.”

I furrow my eyebrows. “You haven’t seen them yet?” Prim was the most important thing in the world to her; why is she here with me?

Katniss leans her forehead against mine and I feel heat course through my veins at the loving gesture. “No, I wanted to make sure you were okay, first… Peeta, I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that you’re okay. I-”

“I’m not.” I suddenly interrupt her. Guilt gnawing at me about keeping the truth from her. I have to tell her. I have to. “I’m not okay.” I admit, my voice wavering slightly.

I can feel her tense beneath my hand. “What do you mean? You look fine to me-”

I grip her hands, tightly, needing to anchor myself to her. “I can’t see.” I whisper, closing my eyes and letting the tears fall.

She’s silent for a moment and I wonder if my grasp is hurting her. She finally asks, “What?”

I take a slow, shaking breath and raise my eyes in the general direction of her voice. I hope I’m looking at her. Maybe she won’t notice. Just in case, I add, “Katniss, I’m blind.”

“No.” She says fiercely after a full minute of deliberation.

I’m confused by the ferocity of her voice. Does she not believe me? Or is she just mad? Again, I feel a bitterness rise in me. I’ve always been able to read people by studying their expressions. How am I supposed to do that now if I can’t see? I start to feel overwhelmed by just how much I’m losing because of my eyes. I remove my hands from Katniss’ and ball them into tight fists on my lap. I’m so angry. I’ve never had problems with my temper, so I’m at a loss on how to control it. Maybe if I sit here long enough, it’ll just go away.

I feel something brush over my cheek, and I jerk reflexively. It’s hard to know what it is when I can’t see it. I hear rustling and the hospital bed moves and dips. Something soft, yet solid is now pressed along my side from shoulder to knee. I know this. I remember the feel of Katniss pressed against me. I recognize the roundness of her shoulder under my arm, the weight of her head on my chest and the solace of her arm wrapped tightly around my middle. She’s snuggled herself against me and it dissolves my anger instantly. I wrap my arms around her shoulders as my anger is replaced by despair and loneliness.

My train of thought wanders from the loss of my sight to the loss of my family. I think about how I’ll never see any of them again. I feel guilty that I’m not that upset over losing my mother. Of course, I’m sad she’s gone- I hurt for all the lives lost in the bombing of my home. Yet… I was never close with my mother, or my brothers, really. I won’t mourn them. Not like I mourn my father. I think about all the things he’s taught me. How to knead dough. How to decorate a cake. How to treat customers, and people in general, so that they come back to spend more money. I remember his smile and nod of approval when I had done something right. I’m going to miss him the most.

Katniss tightens her hold on me. She must sense my mood. Or she’s looking at me and can see it written all over my face. I know I’m an open book. I feel her head move from my chest to rest on my shoulder and feel her lips close to my ear. She’s also taken her arm from around me and traces the lines of my face before she slips her fingers into my hair. Her touch is so gentle, so loving. A sob breaks through my resolve and I just cry into her embrace. She whispers comforting words into my ear as she combs her fingers through my hair.

“Shh.” She whispers. “It’s okay, Peeta. We’ll figure this out. We’ll face it together.”

I’m so touched by her words. I knew Katniss cared, but not this much. I thought I was just there to ward off nightmares and watch her back. To hear her say she’s going to stand with me in what will probably be the most difficult situation of my life is more than I had ever hoped to hear. I let all my grief out as I hold her.

“He’s gone, Katniss.” I sob into her hair. “I’ll never see him again.”

“I know.” She says. Was her voice wavering? “I’m so sorry, Peeta.” I think for a moment that she’s crying with me.

I don’t know how long we stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms. But eventually, my tears run dry and I feel an emotional numbness wash over my body. Our postures relax into something comfortable and I feel myself drifting off to sleep just as a door opens and closes. Footsteps approach us and I feel Katniss’ body shake softly.

“Katniss.” Haymitch whispers. He’s come to wake her up and take her away. I know it. I can feel it. So I tighten my hold on her. Katniss stirs out of her sleep. She makes a confused noise in her throat.

“Haymitch?” She asks, perplexed. “What are you-”

“Come on,” He interrupts. “You need to go back to your assigned room. You need to get to rest.”

“No.” I say. “Katniss, please.” I beg her to stay with me. I don’t think I could navigate this new world without her.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She says and I wonder who she said it to. It doesn’t matter. Katniss is staying by my side.

“Come on, Sweetheart.” Haymitch urges. “Let the boy get some sleep. He has enough to deal with. Besides, the people here in Thirteen are real strict. They won’t like this one bit.”

Katniss adjusts her position, but doesn’t leave my side. “What’s going on, Haymitch? Why are we here?”

Haymitch sighs and takes a moment of what I can only assume is an internal debate on how much to tell us. I wait patiently, knowing I can outlast him. I make sure point my eyes in his general direction. Maybe he’ll take pity on me and relent. He does.

He explains how there was a group of rebels working inside Capitol. With the resources of District Thirteen, they were able to devise a plan to break the victors out of the arena. Well, not all the victors. They only needed Katniss and I. Apparently they’re ready for a full-scale rebellion and they need a mascot. When Katniss fired her arrow into the forcefield of the arena, she became the symbol of rebellion. People are rebelling all across Panem. That’s why the Capitol bombed District Twelve. Besides Katniss and I, they were able to rescue Finnick, Beetee, and Johanna. Beetee is still in critical condition and they think he has been paralyzed from the waist down. Finnick and Johanna are okay, but are sleeping like they’re supposed to be. When Haymitch finishes telling us what has been happening, he tries to get Katniss to return to her own room. She immediately refuses.

She argues with not one, not two, but three different doctors before they finally relent and wheel another bed in beside mine. Of course the deal was that if she stayed in the room, she would also have to stay in her own bed. I reassure that I’ll be alright if she’s nearby and she slowly untangles herself from me.

By the time a nurse comes in to check our vitals, the pain medicine they gave me has worn off. I feel an ache start at the back of my head. The pain’s sharp claws have dug themselves into various parts of my skull and by the time the nurse has returned with a dose, I’m gritting my teeth against the pain. The medicine must have sedative properties because not even a minute after she says she’s administered the drugs into my IV, I feel myself nodding off.

~~~

It takes me two whole weeks from me to stand upright without immediately feeling dizzy. Another week after that before I even try walking. It’s nerve wracking. Someone always has to be by my side, guiding me. And even then, I find myself tripping over small uneven surfaces and my own feet. The prosthetic leg makes everything ten times harder since I can’t feel what it is I’m tripping on. Prim’s been assigned to work in the hospital with her mother and has been around a lot. She’s an excellent doctor-in-training. Patient, kind, and knowledgeable. 

“Okay,” Prim says one afternoon as we work on walking. “Tell me what you sense.”

I look at her, confused. Usually, for my “physical therapy,” a random nurse will come by and walk me around the hallways like a dog. Prim has been assisting both Katniss and I for a few weeks. Yesterday, Katniss was officially cleared for release, but again argued with several people to let her stay in the room until I was also released. Now Prim is focusing her attention on my recovery. I’m standing beside my bed. Prim helped me stand and after the initial vertigo passed, she stepped away from me.

“Prim.” I say, letting my agitation seep through. “What are you doing? We’re supposed be walking.”

“I know.” A smile. I can hear it in her high, clear voice. “Just tell me what you can sense around you. I think it can help with your self-dependency.”

I frown. Self-dependency? Did they actually expect me to get around this place by myself? I push the thought away and decide to humor her. Her voice sounded far, but not too far. Weeks of laying in the hospital and just listening to everything has given me a sense of distance. Like the number of steps from the door to my bed and how loud their voices are at different intervals. I start slowly.

“I’m standing beside my bed. I can feel the edge against my thigh.” I say before sighing. This is pointless. I’m never going to be able to make my way around. 

“Good!” Prim praises, ignoring my attitude. “Can you tell how far away I am?”

I think. Her voice sounds like it’s three steps from the door, but over to the left, towards Katniss’s bed. I’ve gotten good at pinpointing people’s locations. There’s a total of eight steps between the door and my bed. If Prim is three steps from the door, then she’s five steps away. And if every step is about a foot, Prim is five feet away. Or she should be.

I point in the direction of her voice. “Five feet?” I ask.

“Wow.” Prim commends. I hear shuffling. I let my head follow the sound of Prim’s soft footsteps. “Now?”

I point at her voice and ask, “Seven feet?”

“That’s amazing, Peeta!” Her voice sounds so pleased. “You’re doing a lot better than you give yourself credit for.”

I give her a tentative smile. “Well, knowing where someone is isn’t exactly going to help me with walking. Or getting around.”

I hear Prim move towards me. “Can you take a couple steps for me?”

I feel my shoulders slump. But I do as she asks and brace my weight on my left, prosthetic leg. I move my hands out to steady myself and bring my right leg forward. I repeat the process again and curse when my prosthetic foot catches something. I pitch forward, waving my arms around frantically to try and catch myself. Prim grabs hold of my arm and steadies me before I hit the ground.

She makes sure I’m stable on both my feet before stepping back again and humming thoughtfully. “When you stepped with your prosthetic, you swung it out. It caught on the one of the bed wheels.”

“Okay…” I say, unsure how that’s supposed to help.

“How high does the prosthetic go?” She asks.

“What?” 

“Your fake leg. Where does it start? Your knee? Your thigh?” She clarifies.

“Oh.” I say. I think back to all the times I’ve been around Prim. Have I ever shown it to her? Katniss asked to see it during the Victory tour, and I showed my father when I got home from the first Games, but I guess nobody else has really seen it. I tap a place on my thigh, about halfway. “The sleeve starts here, but the actual prosthetic starts here.” I bring my hand down a few inches, just above where my knee used to be. The sharp contrast of soft flesh and hard metal brings up some memories, but I push them away.

“So your knee is gone?” She asks. There’s no pity, no disgust, not even curiosity. Just professionalism. I nod briskly.

“And I’m guessing there’s some kind of mechanical joint that allows you to bend the leg.”

“Yeah.” I answer, wondering where she’s going with this. “The doctors at the Capital said it was state of the art. I don’t remember a lot of what they said. But the gist was that there are sensors that sense what I want to do and then the joint accommodates that move… I think.”

Prim was silent for a long time. Thinking maybe? I hear her shift her position before speaking. “Does it feel different to you?”

I laugh. “Of course it does. Everything feels different now. Everything sounds different, too.”

I don’t know how, but I know she rolls her eyes. “I meant, does it feel like it’s working properly?”

Oh. I furrow my brows. Does it feel different? I haven’t walked on it in weeks. I shift my weight to stand solely on my fake leg. There is something different. I’m wobbling slightly. Before, it was solid. Actually, after getting adjusted to it after the first Games, I barely noticed it was there. I put my weight back on my other leg. “It does feel different. Less… Stable?”

“Maybe we should have someone take a look at it…” Prim muses out loud.

I shrug my shoulders. “Sure.” I agree.

Two people take a look at my prosthetic limb. A doctor, and then an engineer of some sort. They both fiddle with it and ask me to take a few steps. There’s a bunch of technical terms that sound familiar, but I still have no idea what they’re talking about. Between the two of them, they find a broken spring that’s preventing the joint from working properly. The engineer removes my leg and the lack of weight feels odd. He promises to have it back by the end of the day and leaves with the doctor. Prim leaves shortly after so she can go to school.

Katniss finds me sitting hunched over on the side of the bed about an hour later. There’s a handful of people who visit me often enough that I’ve recognized the sound of their gait. I think I might have recognized Katniss’ before I started paying attention. Others I can now identify before speaking include: Haymitch, Prim, Finnick, Mrs. Everdeen, Dr. Nidman, Nurse Marlene, and unfortunately Gale, who comes to visit Katniss. A lot.

Katniss just walked into the room and I turn towards her and offer her a smile. “Hey, Katniss.” She sits beside me. Close enough that our thighs are touching.

“I don’t know how you do that…” She muses, nudging me with her elbow. “Where did your leg go?”

I shrug my shoulders. I don’t really know where it is. “Some engineer guy came and took it away.” I fight back a grin. “Something about needing all the Capital technology they can get.”

“What?” Katniss asks angrily and I quickly allow my smile to escape to let her know I’m joking. She swats at my arm and mumbles, “You’re unbelievable.”

I laugh. And it feels good. I have so few opportunities to do so anymore. “Actually, the engineer found a loose spring. He’s going to try and fix it. Hopefully he’ll have it back to me soon.”

“I guess you’re just stuck here until then.” She teases.

“Like I have anywhere else to go.” I reply, leaning against her.

Katniss places her hand on my thigh, the left one. Just above where my leg ends. She grows quiet. I wait for her to say something. Anything. But she remains silent.

“What are you thinking?” I ask nervously. Before, silence was comfortable between us. I could see her face and read the expression there. Now, I have no way to know what she’s thinking.

“Why?” She asks lazily. Her tone is gentle.

“If I can’t see your face, at least let me know what you’re thinking.” I explain. “You don’t have to tell me every thought that enters your head. I just want to know what you’re feeling…”

She sighs and begins to trace patterns on my thigh. “Sad?”

“Are you asking me? Or telling me?” I smile.

“Telling.” She states. “It’s not fair. Everything you’ve gone through. It’s too much for one person… I’m worried about you.”

Her head comes down to rest on my shoulder and I raise my arm to pull her closer. “I’ll be fine, Katniss.” I assure her.

She shifts and her head lifts from my shoulder. “Really?” I nod.

“I mean,” I continue my thought, remembering our conversation from weeks before. “I don’t have to go through this alone, right?” 

I feel her hair brush my shoulder quickly before retreating. A nod, maybe? “Right.” She whispers. Her voice is much closer than it had been a moment ago. “I’m here for you. With you.”

I turn my head towards her. It’s like instinct, wanting to be near her. I give her a grateful smile. I feel her lips on my cheek, but it’s not a kiss. She’s smiling. I can feel her lips are turned upward and stretched thin. She’s “showing” me her smile. The pain in my chest is back. The good kind of pain. The one that shows up anytime Katniss shows me any sort of affection. God, I love this woman. And I want to show her.

I quickly turn my head towards her lips. She pulls back slightly. I follow her and search blindly for the skin that was just on my cheek. My lip make contact with her smooth, dimpled chin. Great. I’m a fumbling idiot. But before I can pull away in my embarrassed state, she lowers her face to brush her lips against mine. Since waking up blind, I’ve noticed that my other senses have strengthened. Touches feel firmer, warmer. Sounds have a depth I hadn’t noticed before. I’ve even noticed food getting more complex with each bite. This kiss mixes all my heightened senses.

I can feel her soft, wet lips pressing against mine; moving against mine. This is more than just a simple peck. This is a promise. I can feel warmth radiating from her palm and all five fingers on my thigh. I can taste the unique flavor of Katniss, and I smell her earthy scent. I can hear the soft sigh escape her lips when I deepen the kiss. 

Unfortunately, I can also hear the door open. I hope whoever entered is enjoying the show. Katniss jerks back as the door slams behind the intruder. They start walking towards us and I have to hide my smirk because I know who it is before Katniss even addresses them.

“Gale!” She says, a hint of shock in her breathy voice.

I like Gale, I really do. He and Katniss have a lot of the same qualities. The ones I like about Katniss: strong will, courage, intelligence. But he’s also arrogant at times and I remember the way he looked at her when we got back from the first games. More importantly, and what makes my expression sober, is the memory of how Katniss looked at him after he was lashed. She had feelings for him. Even if she wouldn’t ever admit it. A sadness tugs at my heart. I turn my head towards Gale and give him a generic smile.

“Gale.” I greet politely.

“Peeta.” He replies. Is it just me, or did that sound a little terse?

“What are you doing here?” Katniss asks as she pulls away from me. “I thought you were working on something with Beetee.” Ah, yes. Beetee, who miraculously survived his surgery and now gets around in a wheelchair. I furrow my brows. Maybe I should ask for a wheelchair…

“One of the engineers came to him with this and asked for his help.” He explains roughly. Although I have no idea what “this” is. He continues. “He had it fixed in five minutes and asked me to bring it up here. I really don’t know what to do with it, though.”

Katniss gets up and the bed sags without her. “It’s your leg, Peeta.”

Of course. I grin. “Ah! Thanks.” I say reaching out towards them. Before I was blind, I could take this thing on and off in my sleep. I hide my nerves as someone places the limb in my hands. I examine the piece with my hands, determining where the the foot is and then the knee joint. I put it aside and adjust the protective sleeve on my thigh. I feel for the connector and grab the limb to click it into place. There, piece of cake.

“Alright!” I exclaim, clapping my hands together. “Who wants to help me test this out?” 

~~~

This prompt was so great! I really enjoyed writing it. Sorry it just kind of cuts off, but it was getting so long! I’ve already got Parts 2 going.  
Thanks everyone for arranging this very creative, interactive exercise!


	2. Part 2

Navigating the Dark

Part Two

Peeta

~~~

Walking is much easier now that my prosthetic leg is working properly. I still need someone to guide me, but at least I don't trip over random things anymore. Since the day my leg was fixed, Gale comes around much more often. He makes sure to make a big production of slamming open the doors and immediately engaging Katniss in conversation whenever he enters. I know what he's doing. He's trying to keep Katniss and I apart. It doesn't matter, though. Katniss hasn't made any advances since then and I've also kept my hands to myself. The constant presence of Gale has put doubts in my head.

In the Quell, I thought for sure Katniss had admitted she had feelings for me. Not in the usual way a girl would, but the Katniss way. She said she needed me. And then she kissed me. Like really kissed me. That kiss still haunts my dreams. Well, not haunt, exactly. I love replaying that moment in my head. But now that we're safe again, I feel her pulling away. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe she feels guilty about Gale. Who knows?

Therefore, I've kept my distance. Until Katniss literally tells me she wants me to kiss her, I won't. If she's trying to make up her mind about something, I don't want to affect her in any way. I mean, of course I'd like to influence her, but that wouldn't be fair. I want Katniss to choose me without any outside influence.

A week after I start walking on my own, I'm officially discharged. Apparently everyone here is assigned to compartments. Since Katniss and I aren't married (although, I'm pretty sure I told the whole country we were), we can't live in the same compartment. They put me in a compartment with some refugee from District Ten who talks about livestock breeding all the time. His name is Dalton and he's an easy enough guy to get along with. After the third night of me waking up and freaking out about my nightmares, though, I'm pretty sure he doesn't think the same thing about me.

Luckily, I have Katniss. She marches us to the people in charge and makes demands. I admire her courage and her spirit, but she isn't that great with words.

"The Law states that only family and predetermined roommates of the same sex may occupy the same compartment." A woman with a strong voice says. Someone once told me her name was Coin and that she was president of District Thirteen. "And since you and Mr. Mellark are neither, you may not share living quarters."

I know Katniss is about to explode in anger. The arm I have resting on her waist registers the tenseness of her muscles. I decide to cut her off before she can make the situation worse.

"President Coin." I address, stepping forward and aiming my blind eyes to the spot I heard her voice. "I was told you air Capitol programs here in Thirteen. Is that correct?"

She's silent for a moment before she responds in a condescending manner. "I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, Mr. Mellark."

I offer her my most dazzling smile. "Please, call me Peeta. Mr. Mellark was my father. I just want the answer to the question."

"Yes." Someone else answers. The voice is very deep, rough, and commanding. I've heard him a few times, but can't remember his name. "We air all Capitol programs."

I smile towards the voice that answered. "Thank you. Now if you've had access to Capitol TV, surely someone here saw the interview I gave just before the Quarter Quell."

Silence meets me again and I decide to press on. "Katniss and I are already married. I announced it to the whole country just a few weeks ago."

A dry laugh. "It's okay, Peeta." President Coin says, louder than before. "You can drop the act now. You don't need to pretend to save your own lives."

How infuriating. Katniss is going to hate me for this, but I can't spend another night away from her. "Our relationship is not a lie." I say, putting as much conviction into my voice as I can muster. "I love Katniss more than anything else in the world and I can assure you that there's nothing we could do behind closed doors that we haven't already done." It's a bold faced lie, but growing up with my mother and brothers has made me a good liar. I hear a few gasps around the room. How many people are here? Oh, God. Is her mother here? Katniss is going to hate me for insinuating…

Since I stepped forward to address Coin, I'm no longer standing next to Katniss. I can't see her reaction to my confession and I can't feel her reaction either. I'm well and truly blind. Voices start to mutter and whisper around the room and I can't pick just one conversation to follow. They all seem to be on the same topic though. Questioning my statement.

Coin clears her throat and I'm glad the noise has quieted so I don't have to try and strain my hearing over it. "So, Peeta." She addresses me. I don a determined look and face her direction. "Let's say I did believe you. There's no proof. Your Justice Building has burned to the ground and all the records with it. Besides, there's no way you could have gone to sign the papers without someone finding out about it."

"It wasn't a public event." I say, making up shit as I go. "We had a private toasting before we left for the Quell. There wouldn't be any record of it in the Justice Building. And are your insinuating that marriages of the refugees from District Twelve are suddenly void because the records were destroyed?" I hear a few voices murmuring their assent and I continue. "If you let them live together, Katniss and I should be able to as well."

"And how do I know this isn't all a ruse?" President Coin asked loudly over the hum of voices.

"What reason would we possibly have to lie to you?" Katniss said angrily.

"To get what you want." Coin said. "All victors are the same. They think that just because they won the Games, they can get whatever they want. You are no different."

"It's true." Haymitch says so everyone can hear. "What the boy says is true. Can't tell you how many times I caught the two of them sneaking in and out of her room." He says it with humor in his voice and some people laugh along with him.

Coin is uncharacteristically silent and I hate that I can't see her face. I reach my hand behind me, searching for Katniss. She grabs my hand and steps up beside me. I can feel her tremble slightly and her body is radiating heat. Is it from anger or embarrassment, or both?

"Very well." Coin says at last. "You two may live together under the condition that you take the compartment across the hall from Mrs. Everdeen. She will have full access to your rooms and can drop by anytime to make sure you two behave." She pauses momentarily. "Does that suit you, Mrs. Everdeen?"

I blanch. She was here? I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. The full scope of what I just did coming to me. I just confessed, to who knows how many people (and Katniss' old-fashioned mother), that Katniss and I have been… Intimate. Was Prim here? What about Gale? What if Katniss and Gale- I stop myself from pursuing any other thoughts and focus my attention on what is now being said. Apparently, Katniss' mother has agreed and we have been dismissed. Katniss drags me out of the room and down hallways. I feel the shift in the floor as we enter the elevator.

"Katniss," I say frantically. "I'm so sorry! I wouldn't-"

"It's okay, Peeta." She says quickly, laying a hand on my chest. I grab it to secure my spinning head as the elevator takes off.

"No, Katniss. I shouldn't have said-"

"It's okay, Peeta." She says and I'm confused. There's no way she's actually okay with this. Her tone of voice was off, too. What's going on?

I try again. "I-"

I hear a snicker from the other side of the elevator car and I finally understand why Katniss doesn't want to talk about it now. I've been so caught up in everything that's happening, that I failed to notice my surroundings. But who's in here with us?

"Really, Katniss. It's okay." Gale says with humor in his voice. Then he sounds serious as he adds, "The whole country already thought you two were married. Peeta told everyone you were pregnant, and there's only one way to get pregnant."

"Gale." Katniss warns. But Gale ignores it.

"I just didn't think it was true." He whispers. He sounds heartbroken. I don't know why, but I can't take it. Katniss still hasn't really decided, and if Gale thinks he's been cut out, he won't try. Then Katniss will only choose me by default.

"It's not." I admit. As much as I would love to say otherwise and throw it in his face, I can't. I turn towards Gale's voice and face him head on.

"Then what's with all the fuss?" He asks, sounding genuinely confused.

"Nightmares." I tell him before Katniss can stop me. "Katniss is the only one who can calm me down after I have one. Just ask Dalton."

"'Really?" He asks and I nod. "I didn't peg you as a nightmare guy."

I bristle. We were having a semi-nice conversation. Why does he have to ruin it? "If you've seen the things I've seen, you'd have nightmares, too." I say, trying to keep my voice level.

"But you can't see anymore." He says.

I growl in frustration. What does being blind have to do with past images and memories?

"Enough." Katniss says. Her hand is still on my chest and the feel of it makes my anger fade. When the elevator stops, she pulls me out and leads me down a straight path. I assume it's a hallway, but I guess I'll never know. I take stock of the sounds around me. I hear Katniss' featherlike footsteps and my clomping feet above them. There's a low buzz coming from above. The lights. And lastly, a high whistle coming at regular intervals. Air ducts.

We're alone, so I whisper. "I really am sorry, Katniss."

She slows her place before replying with a soft, "I know."

~~~

On our third night in the new compartment, I wake up suddenly. The remnants of my nightmare cling to my consciousness. In this particular dream, a rabid monkey attacked Katniss and dragged her underwater. I tried to save her, but I can't swim so I ended up drowning alongside her.

I reach out with my hand to touch Katniss. We usually spoon, but I don't feel her next to me. My hand is reaching but the only thing I find is damp bed sheets. Where is she? Did the Capitol take her? Was my dream really a memory and Katniss is dead?

"Katniss?" I wait for her to answer, but all I hear is deafening silence. I look around in all directions. Why aren't the lights on? Why can't I see anything? The panic is rising too quickly for me to control. "Katniss!"

"Here!" A voice replies. Is it Katniss? I throw back the covers and swing my legs off the side of the bed. I know I heard her voice, but where did it come crime and why can't I see her?

"Katniss, where are you?" I shout frantically. My arms are flinging wildly in all directions, trying to find her. I feel something touch my hands. It's a smaller pair of hands and they grip my fingers.

"Here, Peeta. I'm here." She whispers. I know she's standing in front of me. One hand comes up to cup my jaw and I lean into her familiar touch. I start to relax and I remember that I'm blind. I wouldn't have been a I'd to see her.

"I woke up and you weren't here." I whisper. "I forgot… about my eyes... I panicked when I couldn't see you."

She reassures me that I'm okay, that she's here. She sits beside me and I pull her closer, craving contact. She nestles into my side. Her warmth comforts me and l wrap my arms around her in a sideways hug.

"Have I told you how grateful I am that you're here?" She says suddenly. It's so random that all I can do is sit silently. She continues in my silence. "I am. Grateful, I mean. When I woke up in the hospital a month ago, I thought I was in the Capitol, and that they killed everybody I ever cared about."

I rub my cheek against her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of the soap she uses to wash it. "You care about me?" I whisper insecurely.

"Yes, Peeta. I care about you. A lot. Don't you remember what I said to you on the beach?"

Of course, I remember. She said she needed me. She kissed with passion. Is this her way of choosing me? It takes me a moment to realize she's waiting for an answer. I swallow nervously and say, "I remember. I just wasn't sure if you meant it for me or the cameras."

She lifts her head from my shoulder and turns in my arms until she's facing me. She rests her forehead against mine and inhales deeply. "That was for you. I meant what I said. I need you, Peeta. That kiss was real." I feel her shift nervously beside me and I can almost hear the vulnerability in her voice. "If it weren't for the cameras, I don't think I would have been able to stop."

My eyes widen at her confession and my breathing picks up. Is she saying what I think she's saying? On the beach we kissed with abandon and held each other close. If I hadn't suddenly remembered there were cameras and other people around, I would have continued as well. I feel myself stir at the thought.

Slowly, she presses her lips to mine, and I can feel her sincerity. I accept the kiss eagerly and, after fumbling, slide my hands up and down her arms. She cups my cheek, deepening the kiss and pushing herself into me. In all the time since we've been here, we've only had one, interrupted kiss. The stress of our injuries and mourning our home has prevented much more. But now, now I can't imagine doing anything less. I'm hardening just thinking about it.

I let my hands roam over her arms and across her collarbone before they ghost down her front. Touching her feels so good. She gasps and turns her face to catch her breath. I press my mouth forward, blindly seeking skin. I find her jaw and press wet, open mouthed kisses along it and down her neck. She whimpers and I feel my breath hitch. I don't want to stop, but I need to know something before I go any further.

"Katniss?" I ask hesitantly. Katniss leans back and hums in answer. My cheeks are heating and the thought of what I'm about to ask. Permission. I stutter as I try to get the words out.. "Did you mean that? About the cameras and that you… You wanted to…That you didn't want to- um..."

It feels like an eternity has passed before she answers me. I begin to wonder if she understood what it is I want. But then she whispers, "Yes, Peeta. I meant it."

My lips turn up at the corners, full of relief, and I lean forward, closing my eyes in a silent request. She grants it and presses her lips against mine again. This time, the kiss is fervent and heated. My lips slant against hers and I wrap my arms around her. She hugs me back, but I can tell she's uncomfortable. Her back is bent at an odd angle. She rectifies the situation by swinging her leg over my lap and straddling me. It's the beach all over again. I feel my blood heat and flow straight to my groin. She sighs against my lips and I bite back a moan.

My arms loosen around her until I have one had on each of her hips. I feel the hardness of her hip bones and squeeze gently. I want to pull her closer, but I don't want to scare her away. There's no need, because she inches her knees forward until our torsos are flush. I moan, hyperaware of her clothed breasts pressed against me. She must like the sound because she press herself against me again.

"Katniss…" I groan, removing my mouth from hers and burying my head in her shoulder. My mind is swirling with all the possibilities of where this could go. I think of everything I want to do to her; everything I want her to do to me. My hands on her hips tighten and I pull her against my hips so she can feel how much I want her. She presses back, and I love the delicious friction.

I nuzzle into her neck and press my mouth to whatever I can get my lips on. Emboldened by her sounds, one of my hands slides around to her back and slips under the hem of her shirt. Her skin is warm and smooth and I hear her sigh at the contact. She cups my face in her hands and brings my lips back to hers. I kiss her softly and when she opens her mouth wider, I trace her lips with my tongue before diving in. Both of my hands are under her shirt now, roaming across the skin of her back and occasionally coming around to caress her stomach.

Katniss pulls back, breathing hard. I feel her move in front of me and her hands brush mine. The fabric of her shirt grazes my knuckles. It slides across the backs of my hands until I can't feel it anymore. She's taking her shirt off. Of course, I'm only to happy to help. I reach upwards, finding the shirt and help her lift it up and over her head. My hands return to her skin immediately. I explore her torso, feeling the dip of her navel and the ridges of ribcage. Hesitantly, I bring one hand up, seeking the skin of her breast. I suck in a breath when my hand meets skin instead of cloth. Does she sleep without a bra?

"Katniss." I moan, unable to contain the lust in my voice. God, I want her. I brush my lips along her shoulder as I squeeze her flesh. She sighs happily. Wanting more, I bring my other hand up to caress her other mound and soon, I hear her panting above me.

An animal awakens within me and I scrape my teeth along her shoulder and across to her breast bone. Her moan is so sensual, I feel my control slipping. I have to pull back. My labored breaths are the only sounds in the room. It's torture, feeling her soft, supple skin beneath my palms. As I sit there, trying to calm my mind, I feel Katniss pull away. Oh no, what did I do wrong? Before I can ask, she takes hold of my shoulders and gives them a reassuring squeeze. Okay, so this is good, right?

Then I feel her small hands travel down my chest and my abdomen. Yes, this is definitely good. She is now standing in front of me as I sit on the bed. Her fingers graze my thighs lightly before coming up to grab my shirt. She tugs it upward. Instead of helping her, I let her take it off of me. There's a small rustle as it hits the concrete floor. I eagerly await for her hands to return to my skin, hoping she'll explore me the same way I did her. But she remains where she's standing. My chest is heaving and as the seconds tick by into minutes, I start to worry.

"Katniss?" I ask softly. I reach out for her. Usually she take my hands and guides them to what I can't see, but not this time. I grope around until my fingers graze skin. I feel the dip in her stomach and trace my fingers outward, until I find her arm. I find her hand and squeeze gently. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She whispers contently. "Just admiring the view."

I offer her a sad smile, my heart aching for my loss. "Wish I could do the same."

She's silent. No doubt my words saddened her. But then she moves forward and presses her lips to the top of my head. The gesture is sweet and affectionate. My hand is still wrapped around hers, so I bring it up to rest on my chest. She accepts my silent invitation to become familiar with my body. Her hands roam over me. I lose all sense of self-control and bring my hands up mirror her movements on her skin.

I don't know how long we just explore each other's bodies, but the calm, relaxed atmosphere is starting to heat again. I can feel Katniss's hands become firmer, more sure as she strokes my skin. She leans forward and kisses me roughly. I'm caught off guard, but soon recover and kiss her back with equal hands reach my chest and push until I finally get the hint and lie back on the bed. She follows, keeping contact with my lips until we are both lying on the bed. I shift until we're on our sides and rest a hand on her hip as our mouths move in synch.

I'm nervous. I've never done anything like this before. I don't think Katniss has either. And although her kisses are filled with fire, I can tell she's nervous too. I decide to take the lead and let my hand find its way back to her breast. She squirms under my touch and it encourages me to caress more firmly. She whimpers and turns onto her back, giving me more access. As she bares her body to me, I feel the overwhelming urge taste her. So when she lays back on the bed, I let our lips break away and seek the skin at her neck. I shift my position to hover over her, and move my knee to push between her thighs. I kiss her breastbone and trail my lips downward, letting my hand guide me.

I squeeze her breast and brush my thumb across her nipple. She gasps in pleasure and I immediately follow my finger with my mouth. My lips close around her breast and she cries out when my tongue flicks her now erect nipple. I hum contently at her noises and double my efforts. While I'm suckling on her breast, one of my hands inches downward. I pause momentarily at the waistband of her pants before I continue on to press firmly at the apex of her thighs. She moans and arches her back into my touch. I rub her through the fabric and bite back a groan at the heat I feel. I release her breast and seek out her lips, needing to feel her desire through their movements. Our lips meet, and then our tongues. She releases desperate noises from her throat and it sends a jolt straight to my crotch. I stroke her center harder and increase the speed with every encouraging groan she gives me. The pulling sensation is building in the pit of my stomach and I need more.

"Peeta…" She whimpers against my mouth. Apparently she needs more too. She moves her hands down my chest and stomach until she boldly grabs me through my pants. I moan loudly at the contact and my hips thrust into her hand instinctively. The touch of her hand feels so good.

When Katniss gripped me, I forgot everything and just focused on the sensation. Now I can feel her hips moving against my hand. Instead of resuming my ministrations, I move to settle between her legs and blindly grind myself against her. Her surprised gasp turns into a moan and I repeat the process a few more times before I can't take it anymore.

"Katniss." I whisper, rather harshly. I release a labored breath and soften my voice. "I… Can I-"

"Yes." She breathes, arching her back into me. I feel the soft flesh of her breast pressed against my chest. It's almost too much. I lean back and awkwardly run my hands over her until I find the edge of her sleep pants. She lifts her hips and helps me pull them down and off.

I glide my hands along her legs. The scruff of her hair tickles my palms. When I reach her hips, I inch my fingers closer to her center. I've heard my brothers talk about what they do to get a girl "ready" before "nailing" them. And although their words vulgar, it gives me something to go on. My fingers brush along her and they come back wet. Which, according to my brothers, that's a good sign. She starts to writhe underneath me when I go for more. I can't believe this is happening. How long have I wanted to show Katniss just how much I love her?

Her hips are moving against my hand and somehow, I find one of my fingers sliding into her. She's so wet and warm and just… perfect. Katniss moans my name sensually, and I rely on instinct to tell me to pump my fingers in and out of her slick heat. It's all I can do to concentrate on the feel of her.

In my distracted state, I don't notice her hands moving down my sides. When she starts to tug my pants down, I snap back to the present. She's having trouble pulling them down, so I sit up and assist her. She makes a weird sound and I can hear a muffled "wow."

"What?" I ask. Hoping it's not me she's worried about.

"Uh, nothing." She says quietly. I raise my eyebrow at her and she sighs in defeat. "It's just- um… You're… big."

I ignore my swelling pride. It's her apprehensive tone that has my attention. But I don't know what to say, so I settle for, "Really?"

She lets out a breathy sound that borders on a laugh. "I guess. But I don't really have anything to compare it to."

There goes my pride again. I push it aside in favor of my sensitive side. "Are you worried? We don't have to-"

"No!" She says quickly, laying a hand on my chest. Her warm hand calms the nerves within me. "I want to."

Her words make my breath hitch and my heart skip a beat. An overwhelming feeling of love and adoration sweeps through me. I lean forward and settle myself between her legs once more. Only our thighs touch, but I can sense her beneath me, her labored breathing making her chest heave. My hand travels along her skin, searching. It glides up her torso, between her breasts, and up her neck. I cup her cheek in my hand and lean down to whisper in her ear.

"I love you, Katniss."

I hear her breathing pick up slightly, but she says nothing in return. Instead, she turns her head and kisses me gently. I can read her words through her lips. They seem to say "I care, and maybe one day, I'll love you too." It's a lot to interpret from a kiss, but I know Katniss wouldn't do this with someone she didn't care deeply for. So instead of feeling irritated or wronged, I feel hopeful. I spend a moment to caress the skin of her neck with my mouth and tongue. Katniss shifts impatiently beneath me and wraps her arms around me to pull me flush against her. It's a wonderful feeling, her skin against mine.

"Peeta, please." She begs, lifting her hips up to rub against me.

I hum contently against her shoulder. My hand reaches down between us and I grip myself tightly. I wonder how hard it will be to find her opening without seeing, but people make love in the dark all the time, right? Pushing my hips forward, I guide my arousal to her hips, seeking the heat of her. I make contact with her core and moan at the sensation. I'm not even inside her and it feels amazing. I move myself along her entrance. It takes a few cautious prods before I find what I'm looking for. Katniss' fingers tighten on my biceps as I slide into her.

Once I'm all the way in, I pause. Katniss is still beneath me and I furrow my brows in concern. Fearing I hurt her, I ask if she's alright. She gives a shaky "yes." I'm not convinced.

"Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" I ask, readying myself to pull out.

She squeezes my arms reassuringly. "I'm sure, Peeta. It doesn't hurt, it's just different."

I'm relieved that I didn't hurt her, but I'm still hesitant to begin. Apparently I take too long for Katniss, because she lifts her hips repeatedly, urging me to move. I take her hint and brace my arms against the thin mattress. I start a slow, uneven rhythm, savoring the feel of her. My release is building quickly and I know I won't last long. I hear Katniss beneath me, breathing hard and occasionally sighing in pleasure. I lower myself so that I can feel every inch of her skin against mine. Our heads are close together, her breath tickling my ear and neck. Her legs slide along mine until the come to rest on my hips.

I pick up the pace of my thrusts, going faster and deeper than before. Katniss groans beneath me and asks for more. I almost lose myself right then, but I keep myself together and obey her command. The silence in our compartment is gone. Now I can hear the the measured slapping of skin and the quiet squeak of metal bed frame. Katniss moans under me again, louder than before. The sound of it drives me to thrust harder, bringing out more of her exquisite cries. Her nails are digging into the flesh of my arm and the pain only make my orgasm draw nearer.

My hips are moving frantically, enjoying the velvety heat of Katniss wrapped around me. It's not long before I'm on the edge of release. I don't want this to end, but at the same time, the need to finish is strong. I feel it coming, like a wave rising up behind me and I'm unable to stop it. My muscles tense and I still my movements as the wave of pleasure crashes violently over me. I spill myself into her as my orgasm rips through me. I don't know how long I lay there, as I've lost all sense of time, but slowly, my muscles relax and I enter a post-orgasmic haze of happiness. I've had my fair share of oragasms, but this one blows them all out of the water. I'm not sure if it's because my hand was a poor substitute for the real thing, or if it has something to do with my blindness. Maybe my new sensitivity to touch made it feel better.

"Peeta?" Katniss asks against my hair. I turn my head towards her voice, humming an answer because I'm too tired to speak. "Are you okay?"

What a peculiar thing to ask. "Are you kidding? I feel amazing right now." I answer her lazily, burrowing my face into her neck.

"Oh." She says, sounding surprised.

I furrow my eyebrows, suddenly worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She says and my heart drops slightly at her impassive tone. "You looked like you were in pain."

I did? "Well, I'm not… That was… The best orgasm of my entire life." I confess, smiling.

"Oh! You're done?" She asks then quickly adds, "I mean, great! Um… I'm glad it was good…"

Shit. I've been so absorbed in myself, that I neglected Katniss. "Katniss," I begin, then swallow my embarrassment. "Did you? You know, come?"

"What? Oh! Um… I don't- I mean I'm not sure-" I hear her swallow nervously.

I groan. I'm such a jerk. I should have made Katniss the priority. "I'm so sorry, Katniss." I say, lifting myself off or her and rolling onto my side next to her. "I should have helped you finish. Do you want me to now?"

"Um, I don't know…" She whispers.

"It's fine if you don't want to," I tell her gently, reaching up to find her face so I can stroke it tenderly. "I just thought you'd want me to make you feel as good as you made me."

"Um, not right now… I just want to sleep. Maybe next time." She says. I hold back my disappointment. If she wants to sleep, we'll sleep.

"Okay," I agree, adjusting my position so that I can wrap an arm around her middle. Katniss turns in my grasp so that her bare back is pressed along my unclothed front. A comfortable silence falls over us and I want so badly to give into the fatigue that has plagued my body, but I need to know something.

"Are you really okay, Katniss?" I ask quietly. "With what we did? Do you regret it?"

She doesn't answer right away, but turns so that she's laying on her back. I flinch when her fingers unexpectedly comb through my hair. I relax as she massages my scalp with her nails. "I don't regret it." She admits softly. "I liked it… but I'm a little sore. And tired."

She liked it! I tighten my arm around her. It hurts me that she's sore because of me, but she doesn't regret it, and that's all I asked. My love for her grows more and I wonder if it will ever stop. Probably not. Katniss has a way of surprising me at every turn. She's still rubbing my head and I feel myself drifting to sleep.

"I love you." I whisper drowsily.

"I know." She replies. She sounds slightly amused, but I hear the soft, loving tone of her voice. Right now, it's not hard to imagine she loves me too. I can feel my lips pull up into a smile just before I fall asleep.

~~~

Wow! Thanks everyone for the love! This has been a wonderful little challenge for me! I've never written smut before, so I hope it's not too bad. I don't plan on writing any more, but I might consider it if I get enough people who want more parts. ;) I hope you all enjoyed blind Peeta!


	3. Part 3

A/N: Okay, you guys convinced me. I'll be doing at least 2 more parts, maybe 3 depending on how the next one turns out. I decided to throw Gale in here because even though I hated him in the book, I now realize I was just biased and he's not a bad guy. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Navigating the Dark  
Part Three

~Gale~

Feeding eight hundred people in the wilderness is harder than I could have possibly imagined. Add to that our limited hunting gear and un-experienced hunters, and we have a real problem on our hands. Mrs. Everdeen is seeing to the wounded. We’ve already lost seven to injuries. I don’t know how long we’ll have to survive out here on our own, but I can’t imagine not losing anyone in the next few weeks to the many horrors of the wilderness. Malnutrition, starvation, beasts, infections. I’m mostly worried about the starvation, though. Thankfully, the traps Katniss and I had set in the lake before they turned the electric fence on are full. Greasy Sae made a measly fish stew and I made sure everyone had something to eat. As I’m moving from fire to fire, checking on the state of things, my mom finds me.

“Gale,” She addresses me, worry written all over her tired face. “You need to get some rest.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be fine.” Keeping myself busy is the only way I can keep my mind from wandering to her.

“You’ve been up for two days straight. Get some rest.” She says sternly. “Have Thom take over for a few hours at least.”

“She’s right.” Thom spoke up from around the fire. “You should get some rest. I can handle things until sunup.”

I give my friend a hard look. He should be taking my side. He looks just as tired as I feel, but I know he got a few hours of sleep this morning. Maybe I can afford a few hours. I turn back to my mom, her concerned frown does me in and I nod. “Fine.” I relent as I find a spot to lay down. Posy, Vick and Rory are sleeping nearby and I grab the small blanket my mother had been using and lay down beside them. With my body still, my mind takes off.

My first and only thought is about Katniss: wondering if she’s alive, and what the Capitol is doing to her. We all saw her shoot that arrow into the forcefield. What was she trying to do? And why did Peeta leave her with that girl from District Seven? I hate him for it. I hate him for a lot of things, but I push those feelings aside and focus on Katniss. I hope they didn’t kill her, but if they’re punishing her for what she did, maybe she would be better off dead. Maybe she died in the explosion.

A feeling of hopelessness washes over me and I feel my eyes burn with tears. I quickly close my eyes to the night sky. Stop it. I chastise myself. Katniss wouldn’t want you to wallow in self pity. You promised to protect her family and that’s what you’ll do. I take a deep breath and release it slowly. After several unwanted images of Katniss being tortured by Peacekeepers come and go from my mind, I finally drift off into a fitful sleep.

 

Someone’s shaking me. It’s the first thing I notice as my mind comes to full attention. The next thing I notice is the midday sun. Shit. I curse silently. Someone was supposed to wake me up before dawn. I look over to see my mom’s worried face and Thom’s anxious face behind her.

“Hurry, Gale!” My mom says urgently. “Someone spotted hovercrafts coming this way. We need to hide!”

I curse aloud this time. This is precisely why I didn’t want to sleep for so long. I spring to my feet and notice the hurried, almost frantic movements of people around me. I don’t hear the tell-tale sound of buzzing hovercrafts, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be here soon.

“We’ve told everyone to hide,” My mom tells me as I move to grab my bow and arrow. “The men are putting out fires and the women and children are hiding. We’ll have problems hiding the wounded-”

“They should be our first priority.” I head for the area Mrs. Everdeen and Prim have set up for the injured and sick. “Thom,” I call over my shoulder. “Get a few strong men to help carry those who can’t walk.” He nods and runs away. “Mom, tell everyone to hide, don’t worry about possessions, just get out of sight.” She nods and runs away as well.

I see Prim in the distance, gathering up a child and helping them to their feet. She isn’t more than a child herself, but she seems to manage well. Mrs. Everdeen runs past me and shouts at a few people standing by. I run up to her.

“What can I do?” I ask. She doesn’t turn to address me, just continues packing up the few medicinal supplies she and others have brought with them.

“Just get everyone into the bushes over there,” She points off to the side, where a giant group of bushes hugs the edge of the clearing. “Have someone cut away some of the branches underneath to make more room.”

I nod and motion to a group of men Thom has just brought over. I pull out my hunting knife as they draw near and hand it to Rory, the smallest. “Take this and cut away some of the low branches.” I tell him, pointing at the group of shrubs. “And underneath as well.”

He nods and heads over to it, setting to work. I tell the other men to grab the wounded and start hiding them where Mrs. Everdeen tells them to. Everyone sets off in a frenzy and I take the time to survey my surroundings. Cook fires lay smoldering and scattered in the clearing by the lake and also the tree line. Almost everyone is hidden now and the few who aren’t are quickly on their way. The group of wounded cry out as their injuries are jostled. And over them, I hear the beginnings of a hum that sends chills down my spine.

“They’re coming!” I shout as loud as I can muster. “Hurry! Hide!” People scream as my message is relayed and they run faster. 

It’s too late, though. The thirty or so people, including me, who hadn’t made it to cover are clear targets in the clearing as the hovercraft slowly sails into view over the trees. My heart bangs wildly against my chest. Will they slaughter us like fish trapped in a barrell? I can only stand and watch as the hovercraft realizes we’re here and circles overhead like a predator bird. I feel Thom come up behind me and he lays a hand on my shoulder.

“We tried.” He says. “But let’s not give up without a fight.” He pulls my spare bow from around his shoulder and holds it in front of him.

I nod and do the same. Maybe if we distract the Peacekeepers long enough, people can escape deeper into the woods. The hovercraft lands in the middle of the clearing, surprisingly careful not to disturb the piles of dying embers and belongings left behind. I pull an arrow from my quiver and ready my bow, aiming at the the plank that’s now lowering. A lone figure stands at the top of the ramp. Instead of Peacekeeper whiter, the man is wearing gray.

I point the arrow at the man’s heart. He’s wearing armor, like the Peacekeepers bulletproof vests, but different. The next thing I notice is that he’s unarmed. His dark hands are raised in the air in the peaceful gesture and he calls out.

“Don’t shoot! We’re not here to hurt you!” His voice is deep. I ignore his words and take a step closer as he takes a step down the ramp.

“Any closer, and I will shoot.” I reply loudly.

He stops moving, hands still in the air. “Please, my name is Boggs and I’m from District Thirteen. We came to see what happened and if there were any survivors.”

District Thirteen? Was this man insane? Or did he think we were stupid. “District Thirteen doesn’t exist.” I yell.

“That’s what the Capitol wants you to think.” He replies. “Please. We mean you no harm.”

“You know I can’t trust you.” I say, taking a few steps closer. I hear voices and footsteps behind me, but I refuse to take my eyes of the man who is a threat.

“Maybe you’ll trust a friendly face.” He says and I narrow my eyes in confusion. How would I know anyone from District Thirteen? The man moves one of his hands and I tense, ready to release my arrow on command. But the man just moves his hand to hold up in a “stop” gesture.

Then I see someone else at the top of the ramp. It’s another man. Dirty, slightly disheveled and stumbling.

“Haymitch!” A voice yells behind me. Before I can do anything, I see Prim launch herself past me and towards the hovercraft.

“Prim!” I yell, noticing a few others have called after her as well. I keep my bow trained on the man in gray, unsure what to do. But the man now walking off the ramp and onto the grass is, indeed, Haymitch Abernathy. Katniss's mentor. My mind whirls with question after question. Prim hugs the old drunk and he pats her back awkwardly before turning his attention to me.

“You can put the weapons down, boys.” He calls to me and Thom, although Thom’s bow was already pointed at the ground. This is wrong. Haymitch shouldn’t be here. He should be with Katniss. This has to be some Capitol plot to trick them.

“How do I know you’re not really with the Capitol?” I ask him, keeping my bow raised and ready.

Haymitch chuckles. “Well, I guess you don’t. Stay here for all I care. I just thought you’d want to see Katniss.”

Katniss? She’s alive?

Mrs. Everdeen has stepped forward and is making her way for Haymitch. “She’s alive?” She asks.

Haymitch nods. “She’s back in District Thirteen. Along with Peeta and a few of the other victors.”

I notice out of the corner of my eye, that people have started coming out of their hiding places and into the clearing. Their murmurs grow louder and louder until suddenly, we’re verging on chaos. People are asking questions, shaking their fists in the air, demanding answers.

The man named Boggs raises his hands for silence. I’ve lost control. The refugees from my home listen attentively as Boggs tells them District Thirteen was never destroyed and that they have been hiding in an underground facility for seventy-five years. He explains the plan to break Katniss and the victors out of the Quarter Quell and that Katniss has started a revolution. Before I know it, people are cheering at the Capitol’s inevitable downfall and they begin to load people onto the hovercraft.

The first thing I do when I arrive at the underground base is go with Prim and her mother to see Katniss. She lays in bed, unconscious. The doctors say she received a concussion in the arena when she blew it up and they are trying to keep her asleep to let her brain heal itself. They tell us she should wake up soon.

“What about Peeta?” Prim asks the doctor.

The doctor looks at her with a sad, defeated look. “He also has a concussion, but I’m afraid his body suffered much more damage.”

Prim looks like she’s about to cry. Does she really care that much for the baker’s kid? Of course she does, Prim cares too much about everything. I look up to Mrs. Everdeen and am shocked to see her with the same expression as her daughter. But the doctor doesn’t say any more about his condition. Minutes turn into an hour and I notice that Prim is yawning. She must be exhausted.

“You guys should go and find someplace to rest.” I tell them. “I’ll stay with Katniss for awhile.”

“You sure, Gale?” Mrs. Everdeen asks. I nod.

“I’ll come and find you if anything changes.” I reassure her.

They leave without protest, sluggish on their feet. I settle into a chair by Katniss's bed and wait. I stare at Katniss, relief flooding through my veins at every breath she takes. Her face has tiny, healing scrapes and cuts all over. My first instinct is to kiss them all. To kiss her. But that hadn’t gone over well the last time. She only kissed me because I was in pain.

The events leading up until now flood back through my mind. Katniss volunteering for Prim last year. Katniss going into the arena. Katniss kissing Peeta to stay alive. Pretending to be with him so they wouldn’t kill her or her family. Getting engaged to him. Then the bastard Snow decided he had had enough and made her go into the arena again. The worst day of my life was watching the interviews before the Quarter Quell. Was it really less than a week ago? Seeing Katniss in a wedding dress, even if it was Capitol style, made my heart ache in longing. Then he came out and said they were already married and that Katniss was pregnant. I was so angry I think I might have broken something. I can’t remember too clearly.

I know it was fake. Katniss told me so herself the day I was whipped for poaching. But something inside me couldn’t shake it. Maybe it was seeing them kiss anytime a camera was nearby. That brought back the memory of the Quell. I watched, had to watch, that scene. Katniss and Peeta, sitting on a beach, talking and kissing. I have to admit, the speech he gave about how people depended on her was great, and it might have worked, but Katniss’s eyes flashed with something I couldn't place, and she told him that she needed him. She needed him, not me. I had to look away when they started making out.

That was the moment that put doubts in my head. I mean, real doubts. I’ve always been nervous that Katniss wouldn’t return my feelings, but there was always more hope than uncertainty. She always wanted to spend time with me. She kissed me. And when she asked me to run away with her and I confronted her about Peeta, she said she couldn’t think about a romantic relationship- with anyone. If she wasn’t at least thinking about us being together, she would have told me, right?

A nurse comes in to take Katniss’s vitals and I glance at the clock hanging on the wall. Nine fifteen. I’ve been sitting here for five hours. My stomach rumbles loudly and the nurse looks back at me.

“You should go and get something to eat.” She says quietly. “Someone will come and get you if she wakes.”

I don’t want to go. I want to be the first thing Katniss sees when she wakes up. But, maybe if I hurry, I can eat and come back before she wakes up. Making my decision, I stand and ask the nurse where I can find some food. Apparently they have a convenient family waiting area with some snack foods that will suit my needs perfectly. I eat crackers and packaged foods until I can’t stomach any more. I make my way back to the room just in time to see the nurse I was talking to run out of Katniss’s room, a panicked look on her face. Oh no.

~Katniss~

I don’t know how long I’ve been out, but by the ache of my limbs I’d say it’s been at least a day, maybe more. The blast from the arena, where I shot an electrically reinforced arrow into the forcefield, knocked me off my feet and rendered me effectively paralyzed. I remember seeing the white-clad Capitol doctor jabbing a needle into my arm and then nothing. They’re probably keeping me alive just to publicly execute me.

I crack an eye open and wince at the pain it causes. My head throbs and I can feel my blood pounding at my temples. I close my eyes and sigh at the temporary relief the darkness brings. Now that I’m awake, though, there’s nothing to keep me from hurting. A shuffling sound lets me know I’m not alone and on instinct, I turn my focus towards it. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light, but when they do I see a young woman with short brown hair standing over me.

“Relax,” The woman says in a soothing voice. “You’re safe now. Let me give you something for the pain.” There’s not a trace of the Capitol accent in her gentle voice and it confuses me. But then I think it’s a trick- a way to get me to relax my guard around them. So when she moves to inject something into the IV, I jerk away.

“Don’t touch me!” I yell at her. My voice is coarse and my throat is dry from disuse. The woman looks at me, alarmed. Good, I think.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Katniss.” She assures me. “You’re safe; the Capitol can’t hurt you here in Thirteen.”

Thirteen? As in District Thirteen? The one the Capitol destroyed seventy-five years ago? It can’t be. This woman is just trying to confuse me. When she moves towards me again, I yell and thrash around, hoping to cause as much of a disturbance as I can. I know they’re just going to kill me anyway. Might as well go down with a fight.

The woman jumps back, sets her syringe on the table full of other medical supplies, and flees the room. After she’s gone, I take stock of my situation. The room is not as bright as I saw earlier. The walls are made of concrete. A lot of concrete. With no windows. It’s not like the hospitals at the Capitol at all. Everything there is white and glass. Here it is gray, man-made stone and metal. Could this be some sort of criminal hospital? One that they keep underground. Do they make Avoxes here?

I’m surprised to see that I’m not bound to the bed. Surely they would have restrained me, conscious or not. The only thing attached to me is the IV. It’s feeding me some sort of fluid and I immediately yank it out, ignoring the blood that wells in its place. Slowly, I sit up and swing my legs over the side. I’m about ready to stand up when the door bursts open.

“Katniss?” A male voice says and I mentally curse myself for turning away from the door. But the voice is familiar and when I turn my head, I see Gale running to my side. What is Gale doing here? DId the Capitol get him too? What about Prim and my mother?

“G-Gale?” I ask tentatively, worried that he’s just the figment of a Capitol induced hallucination. “What are you doing here? Did the Capitol-”

“It’s okay, Katniss. We’re not in the Capitol.” He says, sweeping me up into a hug. I’m too shocked to do anything more than sit there. “We’re in District Thirteen.” He continues, and I pull away to say something, but he cuts me off. “I know, I know. It’s hard to believe, but Thirteen wasn’t destroyed all those years ago. They’ve been hiding out underground and resisting the Capitol for decades.”

He’s right, it is hard to believe. But it still doesn’t explain why he’s here. I stare at him, furrowing my eyebrows, and trusting on our unspoken language for him to pick up what I want to ask him. His face softens and he looks away, dropping his arms around me and stepping back. He looks so sad, so… full of sorrow. “Gale?” I ask hesitantly, fearing his answer to my silent question.

“Katniss,” He begins. “It’s not good. When you shot at the forcefield, the Capitol shut down the broadcast. They shut off our power. We didn’t know what was going on. Then the Peacekeepers started leaving by the truckload and I knew something bad was going to happen. I started telling people to move, to grab what they can and head to the meadow…”

“What happened?” I asked, fearing the worst.

“They bombed Twelve. It’s gone.” He admits, refusing to meet my eyes. Gone? How can an entire district be gone? 

“Prim? Mom?” I ask, holding back tears as I fight off images of them burning.

“It’s okay, they’re safe.” Gale says quickly. “They’re here somewhere. I managed to get some people out alive. I think the last head count was around eight hundred. They found us in the woods late last night and started bringing us here.”

Eight hundred. Out of eight thousand. Though I’m grateful for the survivors of the destruction I caused, I can’t help think it’s a terrible loss. I don’t want to think about all the people I killed with that stupid move in the arena. But their faces come to me anyway. Greasy Sae, Ripper, Madge, even the merchants I occasionally dealt with. Peeta’s father appears in my mind and my eyes snap open. Peeta! I’ve been so caught up in what’s happening to me that I completely forgot about Peeta. Did he survive the blast? I remember meeting his eyes across the small clearing, where the lightning tree was located, before the blast threw me to the ground and out of his sight.

“Peeta?” I ask, hoping Gale will know what happened to him. His face turns sour momentarily before becoming downcast.

“His family didn’t make it…” He confesses softly. “I tried, but some of the merchants didn’t want to go and a lot of the ones that did got caught on the road-” His voice breaks and I know it must be hard for him. To put in so much effort to save people and have them die anyway. But I wasn’t worried about Peeta’s family right now.

“What about Peeta?” I ask earnestly, bracing myself and standing. “Is he alive? Did he make it here?”

Gale meets my eyes and I see a different kind of pain there. A longing, disappointing sort of pain. Eventually he nods. I’m too relieved to do more than choke out a happy sob before I make myself move to the door. Gale grabs my arm just as I reach the handle.

“Katniss, you should rest.” Gales says forcefully. “It’s ten o’clock at night. He’ll still be there in the morning.”

“No,” I say, whirling around to face him. I ignore the wave of dizziness and nausea and stab my finger into his chest. “I need to see him. I need to make sure he’s okay!”

Gale frowns and holds up his hands in surrender, muttering “fine” under his breath. I let out a long breath and turn back to the door and wrench it open. The nurse with short brown hair is standing there, wide eyed. She moves towards me but I hold out my hand to stop her. 

“Where’s Peeta?” I ask harshly. She looks over my shoulder to give Gale a questioning look, but I force her attention back to me. “Where is he?”

She seems to think on how she will answer me and I push myself around her, determined to find him myself. I look around wildly, but all I can see is a long hallway lined with carts and shelves and nurses in doctors in the same medic uniforms. Where do I start?

“Third door on the left.” I hear the nurse say behind me. I look back at her to see her pointing in the direction I had been looking in. Finally. I push my feet, forcing myself to walk as fast as I can. It’s not fast at all, my head is throbbing harder now and I can’t seem to find my balance. I throw out my arm to catch myself on the wall and drag myself to the room that holds Peeta. Once I reach the door, I pause. I can see through the frosted glass on the door that the lights are on. Is he with a doctor? Peeta was as close to the blast as I was, there’s a chance he’s injured and I need to prepare for the worst. But all I care about is that he’s alive and I need to see him.

I push open the door and take in the sight. Peeta is sitting on the hospital bed. Well, half sitting, half lying. He’s being supported by pillows into a seated position. His blonde hair is hanging over his forehead and his eyes are closed. The steady rise and fall of his chest tells me he’s alive. I can’t hold back, I run, stumble really, to his bed and fling my arms around his neck. I know I probably shouldn’t. I should let him sleep, especially if he has injuries, but I can’t. I’m so overjoyed that he’s alive that I can’t seem to control what I do.

I feel him tense underneath me. I pull back to look at his face. His eyes are still closed, but his face is scrunched up in confusion. I lay a hand on his cheek and he relaxes somewhat. “Peeta?” I whisper, hoping he will open his eyes and look at me. He doesn’t.

“Katniss?” He asks tentatively, eyes still closed.

“I’m here, Peeta, it’s me.” I say.

“Oh, thank God.” He breathes and wraps me tightly in his arms. His head is buried in my neck and I lean down to do the same. I breathe in his scent and I feel an overwhelming sense of calm. “What’s going on? No one will tell me anything. They just keep saying that I’m safe and we’re in District Thirteen. Is that true?”

“Yes, we’re in Thirteen.” I tell him, resting my chin on his shoulder. It feels so good to hold him and feel him hold me. “They didn’t really tell me anything either. I freaked out on the nurse and she had to get Gale. He told me-”

“Gale?” He asks, tensing in my grasp. 

I pull back and he lets me go reluctantly. When I look up at his face, I see he’s finally opened his eyes. But he’s looking away from me and at something on the floor behind me. “Peeta…” I begin hesitantly. I don’t want to tell him about his family. I don’t want to cause him pain. But I know I would want him to tell me if our situations were reversed. “Peeta, they bombed Twelve. Our home is gone.”

His eyes go wide, but he still refuses to look at me. I take one of his large, strong hands in both of mine and hold it in my lap. “Are there…” He begins then squeezes his eyes shut. “Were there any survivors?” He asks softly.

“About eight hundred. Gale got them into the forest and the people from Thirteen brought them here.” I explain. Then I relay the news I know he wants to hear. “Your family didn’t make it.”

He’s quiet for a long time and I’m surprised I don’t see tears leak from his eyes. He’s always been so sensitive. After a moment of silence, he turns to face me. He opens his eyes and I want him to look me in the eye, but he stares at our hands instead. “What about your mom and Prim?” He asks.

I’m surprised he thought of them after hearing that his entire family was just killed. “They made it. They’re here somewhere, I think.”

He furrows his eyebrows. “You haven’t seen them yet?”

“No, I wanted to make sure you were okay, first.” I tell him, leaning my forehead against his. “Peeta, I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that you’re okay. I-”

“I’m not.” Peeta chokes and I lean back to study him. Tears are running down his cheeks and he’s still looking down. “I’m not okay.” He says shakily.

My stomach drops as I hear his words. “What do you mean? You look fine to me-”

He grips my hands in his and squeezes them so tightly, it hurts. “I can’t see.” He whispers, closing his eyes as more tears fall down his face. 

What? What does he mean, he can’t see? “What?”

Finally, finally, he raises his eyes so that I can see them properly. I’m shocked at how different they are. The clear blue I’ve come so accustomed to seeing has turned milky and I can see that his eyes aren’t focused on my face. Even though they’re directed at me, it’s like he’s looking straight through me. I suddenly can’t catch my breath.

“Katniss.” He whispers. “I’m blind.”

~Gale~

Watching Katniss reunite with Peeta is heartbreaking, but I can’t look away. I’m not sure she noticed that I followed her down the hall and am now standing against the door frame. I don’t think she even noticed the doctor standing off to the side. The doctor, being a smarter and more courteous man than I, leaves the room quickly once he realizes the private moment being shared. I, however, continue to watch with sad eyes at my best friend, and the woman I love, wrap herself around another man.

The way Peeta buries his head into her hair makes me heat in jealousy. They seem so at ease with each other. Katniss and I used to be that way; before the Games. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if Katniss didn’t volunteer or if I did. Mom says they find comfort in each other because no one else knows what they’ve been through. My fantasies take over my thoughts, blissfully unaware of the conversation happening in front of me.

“No.” Katniss’s fierce voice draws me out of my thoughts. I look up to see Katniss still on his bed, their hands clasped tightly together. I see Peeta looking in my direction and I silently curse. I hope he doesn’t point out that I’m snooping.

Peeta’s hands pull away from Katniss’s and ball themselves into fists in anger. He must be angry that I’m here. I study him carefully, feeling that something’s off. His eyes are narrowed in anger, towards me, but not at me. That doesn’t make sense. It’s like his eyes aren’t focused on me. I tentatively raise a hand in greeting, hoping it looks like a peaceful gesture. But his eyes don’t follow the movement of my hand.

Then Katniss raises her fingers to his cheek and he recoils at the touch. There’s only a couple reasons why he would do that. One, he was too angry to accept her affections, which is unlikely, judging by the way he’s now accepting her invitation to cuddle. The only other reason I can think of is that Peeta flinched because he didn’t see it coming. I don’t know Peeta very well, but watching in two Games told me he has decent reflexes. He should have seen her hand coming. Suddenly it makes sense: the doctor’s downcast face when he told us Peeta had more injuries; the way he reacted when Katniss woke him up; the way his eyes were still on me but he has yet to acknowledge my presence.

Peeta’s blind.

And there’s no way I can compete with that.


End file.
